Although this text should have been written three months ago, I now finally find the inspiration and time to share the coming of my daughter, My Soul of Me.
The morning of the second day of May as I spend time in the kitchen as usual, I felt an overwhelming pain that took me to my bed in tears. The biggest contraction I had felt since the braxton hicks over the last month. Frightened, I held River and whispered that the pain had been too much that I did not know how I would be if the pain became stronger. In River’s arms I prayed and breath manifesting my daughters birth. But hours after the first contaction, all went back to normal. Another false alarm I thought… but deep down I knew Her time was really soon. In the days that followed, I meditated deeply and called on Nahualt saying Baby you can come now.
On the fifth day of May, we made a day as normal as it could be. We took a long walk near the pond and were out the entire day celebrating River’s first born son’s eleventh earthstrong… At night we came home and I slipped to bed. River, for some mystic reason, said he felt he needed to stay up and would join me later. At two am, I woke to an empty bed, and knew it was time for Her true arrival as I saw I had bled, known as the the show. I felt my body preparing all on its own and all I had to do was move and breath. Some force took over and guided me through the process. I tried to lay down in the candlelit room but my body demanded movement. I felt the contractions come every fifteen minutes… River prepared a hot bath for me but I could not stay still. At four am we decided to drive down to the city for we knew the drive took a long minute. Near five am we arrived at the maternity center and I was taken in by two kind midwives. For the next two hours River and the midwives massaged my lower back taking turns. Wah, Dezarie, and Midnite played in the blackgroung as I danced my hips in circles feeling baby come down slowly. I felt so strong within only concentrating on my breath and embracing each contraction as they came. At seven am, the pain vanished. I felt exhausted and told River I wanted to take a nap. He helped me get on my knees and placed a yoga ball infront of me. I hugged it and for less than one minute I felt an energy take over me and felt deeply rested. Things evolved and my body, all on its own, started pushing baby out. For the next hour my body guided me as it was time to push. This last hour was the hardest hour of them all. I felt baby come out centimeter by centimeter until finally at eight am the moning of the sixth day of May,baby bloomed . She slipped out quietly and came to my arms where for the next two hours she layed on my chest looking at the world as the sun light illumined the room.
I have been distracted, lost in my anxiety and eagerness for nahualts birth. Been focusing too much on my aching body and broken belly skin.
Focusing on my breath has been slowly reminding me of the importance of the now. Although visualizing nahualts natural birth helps me manifest guidance and trust, I feel I’ve gone too far. Instead i learn to embrace the aches and the slowness. Only once will I carry Nahualt in my womb. Only today will I feel her move the way she moves. I sit and I breath, I hear the neighbors geese sing randomly and I realize the beauty of nesting in my home. Only today will things be how they are. I embrace.
River has seen my anxiousness, even the way I eat has sped up. He’s trying to remind me of the things I seemed to have forgotten. River looked into homoeopathy to help me relieve my aches and slow down my anxiety and brought home some mountain arnica. He has been brewing raspberry leaf tea to relieve irregular contractions that seem to go nowhere…
For the past six months, we have shared a home up in the mountains of the island. Only eleven kilometers from Mafate. Our home has been a place of seclusion and serenity while I blossom with child. Each time we leave our home to visit friends, the market, or get some sun rays, I am amazed at the road we take to go back up. Finally, with camera in hand and the perfect lighting from the sun, I was able to capture the special people and nature we see on the road home… we do not really live in Tan Rouge or Ravine Daniel, it is more like somewhere in between.